nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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