But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
