There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
