Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
