Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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