I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize