There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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