You really coming over, don't trick.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
