the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize