Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
