Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize