4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
