I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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