do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize