What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
