Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
