He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize