how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
