I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
