"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
