just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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