Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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