How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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