I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize