you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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