His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
