i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Bring me that man meat
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
