I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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