You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
