theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize