This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
id be glad to
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
