i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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