shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No subtext here. People are naked.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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