I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
