Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
