Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Randomize
