I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
