Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
