One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
