i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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