I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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