You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
