I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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