He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
