garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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