You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
