Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
