Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
