Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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