you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
