weddingsv make me drug and hornr
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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