whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
