Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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