I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
