Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
