I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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