Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
and you fell through a lawn chair
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