Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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