i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
