I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
