Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
