Christians are straight up FREAKS
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
