Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
