Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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